Running While ...

I intentionally failed to mention in my Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run recap that I ran Cherry Blossom about 20 weeks pregnant.

I signed up for the Cherry Blossom lottery in December. I didn't even look into it last year, and it was literally on the day I moved to Washington, DC the year before that. After a series of injuries in 2012 and 2013, I was finally back to regular mileage and in the range of my pre-injury speed. It was time to pick a race and actually race it.

Two days later, I found out I was pregnant. Of course I was going to get picked in the lottery. And I did.

My plan was to keep running as long as I could. Generally, as long as you don't have any complications, you can keep doing whatever pre-pregnancy exercise activities you were doing. Sure, I had to be careful to not push too hard or get dehydrated or overheat.

That meant I had to approach training for Cherry Blossom differently. I used a modified version of Hal Higdon's intermediate 15K/10 mile training plan. Believe it or not, I had never trained properly for a 10 mile race. I couldn't attempt a PR or do speedwork, nor did I want to. My goals shifted from "run fast and PR" to "run for a healthy me, healthy baby, and healthy pregnancy and have fun." I gotta say, I was really frustrated in the beginning that I had to slow down. A lot. Running wasn't all that fun. I used heart rate as a general guide and quickly learned how to run by perceived effort level. I would try to keep my heart rate in the high 140s-low 150s. Mid-150s was (and still is) my threshold for easing up.

I knew Cherry Blossom had an official transfer period in February, so that was an option in case I couldn't run. I reached my second trimester during February. I was still running, and in fact running started to be fun again. I got some of my energy back. My pace started to pick up. The weather was terrible this winter, but I didn't stress if I missed a training run. Baby measured on target and had a nice strong heartbeat. OK. Baby and I were all in for Cherry Blossom.

I had a great time running Cherry Blossom, in part because my only goals were to have fun and finish. And run around 1:40-1:45. Check, check, and check. Better than check on that last one. Baby has a 10 mile PR of 1:39 and change. Good work, Baby. I did the work for you this time. Next time, you're on your own.

When I went past 30 weeks, I was still running. I didn't go very fast or very far. Most runs were in the 3-4 mile range. I took frequent walk breaks. I didn't run up hills. I stopped if something didn't feel right or I just wasn't feeling it. I carried water most of the time. And I didn't feel bad if I had to cut a run short or switch to walking.

I made it to about 31 weeks and decided I just didn't want to run anymore. It was more like run-walking at that point anyway. It wasn't that anything hurt or felt uncomfortable (other than my calves and sometimes my hips). Running wasn't enjoyable. The heat and humidity in particular are getting to me. But have no fear, I am not a total couch potato. I switched to low-impact activities, such as walking, the stationary bike, and pre-natal yoga. Maybe the elliptical if I I feel like hauling my gear to the gym at work. Probably not, though, since I have to deal with public transportation. That's difficult enough as it is without extra stuff to carry.

The wee baby bump at Cherry Blossom


Same outfit and the baby bump at 30 weeks


Oh, and in case you're wondering, Baby is a boy due to arrive in August.

Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run Recap and Review

This is way overdue, but I figured better late than never!

I ran the Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run on April 6, 2014. Cherry Blossom is one of the largest road races in Washington, DC.

Overall, I really liked Cherry Blossom. I knew from the beginning of my training that it was not going to be a PR or even close to one, so my goal was to treat it like a fun run with thousands of other people. And a fun run it was!

This year's course started at the Washington Monument, went around part of the National Mall, went over the bridge behind the Lincoln Memorial just barely into Arlington, VA, then back over the bridge, along the Potomac River to the Kennedy Center, turned back down along the Potomac, around the Tidal Basin to the Jefferson Memorial, down and around Hains Point, then back up to the Washington Monument. Most large races in DC have several miles around Hains Point, which can be windy and lacking in spectators. But it was relatively calm, and a group of people were at the tip of Hains Point giving out beer. The peak of the cherry blossoms was a few days after the race, but most of the cherry trees were turning pink.

None of these pictures are from Cherry Blossom, but here are some of the things you will see along the course.

Washington Monument, near the start and finish area


Bridge to Arlington and the Lincoln Memorial


Jefferson Memorial (inside, you'll see the outside and the Tidal Basin


Potomac River


Based on my training, I thought I would finish around 1:40-1:45. I had no pressure to run any particular time. It was the easiest 10 mile race ever. I crossed the finish line in 1:39 and change, including a 2-minute bathroom break just before the 10K/6.2 mile mark. Go me!! Beat my time goal? Check. Had fun? Check.

I liked:
The entry fee was reasonable. You could pay extra if you wanted a medal or technical shirt.
The course is flat/pretty and took us along the National Mall, the Lincoln Memorial, the Tidal Basin, the Jefferson Memorial, the Potomac River, and the Washington Monument.
The weather was good. Cold at the beginning but clear and dry. Not too windy along Hains Point. Pretty much perfect weather during the race.
There is an official transfer period in February. This is a nice option. Most race entries are non-refundable and non-transferable.

I didn't like:
The course was crowded the whole time, although you had enough space to move after about the first mile.
The corrals were not enforced and people pretty much started wherever they wanted to. I actually moved one corral back because I knew I was nowhere capable of running the projected time I put down on my registration. Based on the corral cutoffs, I should have moved back two corrals. But one corral ended up being perfect. I was running with people at about my pace the whole time, and I passed and was passed by about the same amount of people. So I seeded myself appropriately. Not everyone else did, though.
The hassles of a large race. Getting there early. Crowded course. Allowing extra time to check your gear, use the bathroom before the race, and get into your corral.
Entry is through a lottery. This is not a downside for me, since I think lotteries are fairer and work better than opening registration at a certain time and having the system crash because too many people tried to register at the same time. But it means you can't just decide to run Cherry Blossom close to the race.

Bottom line? I would run Cherry Blossom again.

Thoughts on Boston

One year since the 2013 Boston Marathon. Seems like forever ago and yesterday at the same time.

I was one of the last few thousand people to experience crossing the finish line of the "old" Boston Marathon. Last year, 17,580 people finished. I was the 15,961st.
 
It makes me sad that no one else will get to experience the old Boston Marathon.
 
It makes me angry that the Boston Marathon has changed for reasons that have nothing to do with the Boston Marathon. Road races in general have changed ... extra security, clear gear bags, restrictions on costumes and spectators and backpacks, and a whole bunch of reactive measures that may or may not make races safer.
 
I have no doubt that the 2014 Boston Marathon will be the best Boston Marathon ever. It will be different, though.
 
Maybe it will be different in the way that everything after 9/11 was different. I spectated at the 2002 Boston Marathon. I don't remember whether it was or wasn't different, but I do remember waving an American flag. Back then, I had no idea what a big deal the Boston Marathon was.
 
One year later, I am happy to report that I have zero long-term effects. Sure, I was hypersensitive to sirens on emergency vehicles for a while, but that is barely noticeable now. Part of why I am fine was self-care in the days following the Boston Marathon. My coping skills kicked in without even thinking about them. I knew what I had to do, and I knew what I had to look out for.
 
But I will never unhear those explosions. I do not walk the streets of Boston the same way. I will never use the expression "Have a blast" again. Ever. I have to be careful about media coverage, especially around anniversaries.
 
I am still counting my blessings that of all the things that could have put me or my husband in the wrong place at the wrong time, not a single one of them happened.

Boston Strong.

The Night before Cherry Blossom

Originally, the Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run was a tuneup race for DC area people running the Boston Marathon. Well, that is exactly why I didn't try to run Cherry Blossom last year. It was too close to Boston. Cherry Blossom is typically a week or two before Boston (depending on how the calendar lines up). A 10 mile race fits well into most training plans the week before or two weeks before a marathon.

Now, Cherry Blossom is way more than Boston Marathon tuneup race. It is one of the largest road races in DC. The course is reasonably scenic. We'll forget about that loop down to Hains Point, but hey, if the cherry blossoms are out, you'll see cherry blossoms at Hains Point.

I haven't done a 10 mile race in several years. Given my focus on marathons since 2011, it is a significant step down to train for "only" 10 miles. But that is the point where I am in my life right now. Ten miles sounds just about right.

Bring it, 10 miles.

Cherry Blossom Training Halfway Update

Halfway already? Whaaa? Well, I guess that's what happens when you are used to 18-week marathon training plans.

So far, so good. I have ran 5 times a week (averaging in the low 20s for the week), strength trained once a week, and did yoga once a week. I need to be better about foam rolling my calves, but other than that everything is good.

I can't say I am a fan of this winter, though. I don't mind snow and cold, but it's just been one storm after another. We're all tired of it. March looks like it will come roaring in, so that must mean it will leave quietly. Yes? Please please?

In comparison, the last two winters, where I was training for marathons, were relatively mild. The winter of 2011-2012 was the warmest winter on record. It barely snowed. My usual long run path stayed clear the whole winter. There were some days where no cold weather gear was required. The winter of 2012-2013 was not as warm, but it didn't snow much. I only needed to bust out my Yaktrax once. In late March. While I was just beginning taper. Can't say I can complain about that.

Spring Is On Its Way

This is the last week before I officially start training for the Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Run on April 6. Lucky me got picked my first time in the lottery.

I've done 10 mile races in the past. I ran the Blessing of the Fleet 10 mile run in Narragansett, RI many times. But despite that, I never followed a formal training plan.

This time I am adapting Hal Higdon's intermediate 15K plan. I haven't run 5 days a week in almost 2 years and I am not doing speedwork, so I may swap out one of the runs for cross-training. We'll see. I tend to be rigid with training plans, but I'm just not at a place in my running where I need to or want to be rigid. I won't be trying for PR. The only place I will be rigid is my rest day. Thursday has been my traditional rest day for several years.

My general plan for the week:

Sunday - yoga & strength training
Monday - short run & strength training
Tuesday - sorta long run
Wednesday - short run & strength training (might do a boot-camp style class in the evening)
Thursday - rest
Friday - short run
Saturday - long run

By strength training, I don't mean long sessions. More like 15-20 minutes at a time. Typically, I will leave some extra time at the end of a cardio workout at the gym for strength training, or I will do some exercises while I am doing laundry or watching TV.s

2013 in Review

 1. Bought a house. Other than some routine maintenance, it has treated us well.
 
2. As the finishers certificate states, I successfully completed the Boston Marathon. That is about the most accurate thing I can say about the Boston Marathon.
 
3. Ran a road race in Hawaii.
 
4. Didn't do a whole lot of running otherwise. I will cap out the year at just over 600 miles. My major focus was getting over a series of injuries. So far so good on making a careful return to running.
 
Here's to lots of good things happening in 2014!

Back on the Rhode

I ran 20 miles on the nose this week.

And 65 miles in November. And 27 miles in October.

Dare I say I am back?

I still don't have a specific training plan or target race, but I am starting to think about races again. My ankle, while still not 100%, is getting better. No more just tolerating not getting worse. Actually getting better. There is a different feeling when you are healing. Almost like the injured part is letting you know it's there. But it definitely isn't pain, more like a slight discomfort or itchy feel. That's where I am.

My paces are well within my normal range, if not faster. Some runs bring me back to the peak of Shamrock training where I was easily running fast paces and building confidence in my mind and body. Today's run was a perfect example. I had a couple of sub-8 miles in the middle of my run. I didn't even know I ran that fast until I looked at my Garmin data at home. That did not happen when I was training for Boston about a year ago. I really struggled to maintain my normal pace. So what's different? I think I eased back into running more slowly. I don't have the pressure of a non-refundable race that I need to train for. I learned more about my body.

Oh hai again

So yeah. I have not fallen off the face of the earth again. I am still somewhat on the disabled list. I've been fighting with Achilles tendonitis in my left foot for the last, oh, forever. Before the Boston Marathon. And then my piriformis started acting up. I cannot make this stuff up. It was just one injury after another.

By the way, you know you are a runner when you can correctly pronounce piriformis.

The good news is that both issues are subsiding. I have to spend lots of quality time with my foam roller and be very careful about stretching. The other good news is that I eased back into running 2-3 times a week. Nothing is getting worse. I can feel slow healing. My endurance is lacking, but my pace is within my Shamrock training range. Score.

I still have nothing on my race calendar. I need to be fully healed. I gotta get back to pain-free running. I almost don't remember what that's like.

My workout routine (or sometimes more like lack of routine) needed a shakeup. I started going to a boot-camp-style class. It is hard. My core appreciates it, though. I work harder than I would on my own. And I volunteered to lead a staff run group once a week.

I ran the last 2 miles or so of the Marine Corps Marathon with a friend. Seeing someone else fight with those last 2 miles gave me a different perspective of what happens at the end of a marathon. There is no glossing over how hard those miles are. I have no plans to run another marathon anytime soon, but I will say that the end of Marine Corps made me excited to take on 26.2 again. Someday.

In somewhat running-related news, the Red Sox won the World Series. Yay Red Sox! Not only was it is a worst to first comeback for the Red Sox, but it showed the resilience of the city of Boston. A city that needed to celebrate after the Boston Marathon bombings. Maybe I am biased because I ran this year's Boston Marathon. And maybe I am biased because I lived in New England for over a decade, but no city deserved it more than Boston.

On Washington, DC

The last couple of times I've moved, it was bittersweet at first. I liked the place I moved from, and I was never totally sold on the new place.

And then I gave the new place a chance and find out that, hey, it's not so bad, and there are some things about the new place that I really like.

Moving to DC was no exception. DC is finally growing on me.

1. The Smithsonian Museums. Yes, museums. The Smithsonian is many museums, not just one. Free museums. My favorite is the Museum of American History. And the National Gallery of Art and Sculpture Garden, although that's not a Smithsonian. Still free, though.

2. The arts scene. I have already been to four concerts at The Fillmore and have seen a documentary at the A.F.I. Silver Spring (Sound City ... highly recommend it if you like Dave Grohl, or if you like rock music). These venues are across the street from each other. The Fillmore is not too big and not too small. Kinda like the way I like my marathons.

3. Rock Creek Park. You'd never guess you were in the middle of a city. It is quiet and peaceful. Some of the roads are closed to traffic on the weekends so people can walk, run, or cycle. I did all of my longest long runs in preparation for Boston in Rock Creek.

4. The National Mall. The fastest, cheapest, and most fun way to see the monuments is to run. If you have far enough to run, you can visit the U.S. Capitol, the Washington Monument, the White House, the Jefferson Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, and even Virginia if you want to. All on the same run. See? I did this back in 2011.

5. Decent public transportation. I pretty much do not take the Metro on the weekends because of trackwork and closed stations. It's not pleasant when there are delays. And lemme tell you about the time I got stuck on a disabled train. However, the Metro is way better than the alternative. Drive? No thank you. Been there, done that, and have no interest in doing it again. Going to Boston a few months ago made me appreciate Metro more. I get my commute time back to do stuff. Read. Play with my phone. Listen to music. Nothing. My car was acting fritzy, so I didn't drive for over 3 months. And I didn't need to.

6. My job. There are some days when I feel like I haven't worked because I like what I do that much. Yes, there are challenges and it's not all puppies and rainbows. But it is interesting, meaningful work with a limitless supply of questions to address. I get to use my data skills and research skills on a daily basis. I couldn't ask for anything better.

Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down

The thumbs up first. I ran a 5K in Hawaii. A race T-shirt is a much better souvenir than a regular old T-shirt. I didn't set any land speed records, but I wasn't planning on it. I ran a respectable time, and I even snagged second in my age group.

Hawaii was very amazing, by the way. The pineapple (the sweetest ever), the shopping (tons of high-end stores), the restaurants (I may or may not have eaten udon noddles twice in 24 hours), the beaches, the hiking, the mai tais, all thumbs up.

And the thumbs down. My ankle is still bugging me a bit. I can tell it is getting better. Slowly. Stretching and foam rolling are helping, but I need to get myself fully healed. So it's time for another running break. I unintentionally took a complete exercise break for a few days. My body needs it. And I need to be patient.

The Week that Was

I'm not going to do a day-by-day recap of my exercises this week, or even a general description of what I did this week. I find it helpful to keep a log while I am training, so that I can look back and see how things went. There's no real need for that, since I'm not really training for anything.

However, I ran about 8.5 miles total in 1 hour 10 minutes. For those of you doing the math at home, that's an 8:15ish pace per mile.

Whut? Who is this person?

This did not happen the last time I came back from an injury or an extended running break. At the beginning of my Boston Marathon training cycle, I was struggling to break 9 minutes.

Part of the speed is that I know I am only going out for a short distance. A little more than 2 miles on average. I can run 2 miles in my sleep. I was purposely pushing it on some of these runs, so that's part of it too. But then factor in the heat and humidity and I should be running slower.

Or maybe I just have enough running experience that I know paces, effort levels, and mental skills well enough to know what's appropriate. Hmm.

Oh hai

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Just took a planned extended running break. I did not run at all for over 2 months since the Boston Marathon. Even before the marathon, I knew I needed to take a break. You can't run if you break your body.

Oh, I did other things. Spent some quality time with the elliptical. Acquired a spin bike. More strength training. And some extra rest.

I tried to ramp it up too quickly when I was training for Boston. I am not going to repeat that. I got lucky in that when I got injured again, I knew how to back off, had a decent start to my training cycle, and still managed to train. I got even luckier that I did not get injured during the marathon and made it safely to the finish line.

The good news is that my pace is in the range of my spring 2012 training cycle. That was when I ran my 2 BQ marathons, 2 unofficial half marathon PRs (or 3 if racing by yourself on a treadmill counts), and my 5K PR. I did a better job of maintaining my cardiovascular fitness than I did when I was injured last year, so I think that helped.

So far, I am 2 weeks and about 5 miles into my return to running. I am cautiously aiming for a 5K in early August. Other than the 5K, I have nothing on my race calendar. And honestly, I kinda like that.

Remembering Boston on National Running Day

Happy National Running Day!

Did I run today? Nope. I have not ran since the Boston Marathon. And I do not feel bad about that in the slightest bit. Oh, I am still exercising but in different ways. My body needs a break from running.

Since I did not run today, how about some photos from my trip to Boston over the weekend?

Honestly, it was a little weird to be in Boston. It seemed like nothing had changed, and yet everything has changed. But it was good. I got to go back and hang around downtown Boston and visit the Public Garden, just as I had planned to do after the Boston Marathon. I am glad I had a chance to go back.

I got to see the Boston Marathon memorial in Copley Square.






Hands touching hands reaching out touching you is a line from Sweet Caroline.




Been waiting for a while to show my medal to the mama duck in the Public Garden. Mama duck approved.


I do so enjoy Boston.

Boston Revisited

I am going to Boston this weekend. Yay.

Except not yay. I am having surprisingly mixed feelings about that. Not exactly sure why. College reunion is part of it. Or rather, a certain classmate who I don't think is going to be there but might is part of it. The Boston Marathon is part of it too. Oh, it will be fine and I will be excited by the time the weekend rolls around. For now, I am not the least bit excited.

I am going to the Public Garden to visit the duck statues with my Boston Marathon medal, just as I had planned to do after the Boston Marathon. I am going to Boylston Street and the finish area. Hopefully, I will buy a Boston Strong shirt from Marathon Sports or City Sports, both of which are near the finish area.

I will see some friends I haven't seen since the last college reunion. I'm kinda beyond drinking and staying up all night, but it will be fun. The last one was fun.

I will tell you one thing. It will be very much like the Boston Marathon. Eagle coming home. Again.

Boston Marathon: The Music That Wasn't

I put together a playlist for the Boston Marathon and then ended up not using it. At all. The Boston Marathon is a 26.2 mile block party. There were so many entertaining things along the way.

In hindsight, I hope these songs had turned up.

Foo Fighters - My Hero. This one is for all the police, emergency responders, medical people, volunteers, spectators, and average people who stepped up when they were needed.

Nine Inch Nails and Carly Rae Jepson - Call Me a Hole mashup - Upbeat music from Call Me Maybe. Dark lyrics from Head Like a Hole. "No, you can't take that away from me."

Katy Perry - Part of Me - "This is the part of me that you are never gonna ever take away from me." Notice a recurring theme here?

Switchfoot - Meant to Live - "We were meant to live for so much more and we lost ourselves. Somewhere we live inside."

Switchfoot - We Are One Tonight - "The world is flawed. These scars will heal. We are one tonight."

Switchfoot - Dare You to Move - "I dare you to move. I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor." For me, this song has always been about hope. It is one of the highlights of any Switchfoot concert. The most recent time I saw it performed live was frontman Jon Foreman singing solo, acoustic, with the crowd singing along. Amazing.

Switchfoot - Dark Horses - "I've got my scars. I've been to hell and back again. Born for the blue skies. We'll survive the rain. Born for the sunrise. We'll survive the pain."

The Bravery - Fearless. Good message. Peppy beat.

Rihanna - Diamonds. "Shine bright like a diamond." Boston, shine bright like a diamond.

Journey - Don't Stop Believin' - I associate this song with Boston, due to its use in the 2004 baseball post-season. In case you don't remember 2004, it was the year that the Boston Red Sox were 1 out away from elimination and came back to win the World Series for the first time since 1918.

Pearl Jam - The Fixer - "When something's lost, I want to fight to get it back again ... When something's broke, I want to put a bit of fixing on it ... When there's no love, I want to try to love again ... Yeah yeah yeah. Fight to get it back again."

Chris Brown - Beautiful People - "Everywhere that I go, the only thing I see is beautiful people ... Live your life ... The beauty's deep inside you. Don't let 'em bring you down. The beauty is inside of you."

Shoulda had Sweet Caroline, although I did hear it somewhere out on the course.

Boston Marathon: How to Handle Traumatic Stress Part II

In my random travels today, I came across this list of various resources from SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, for those of you not in the DC area and not used to acronym after acronym).

Tips on How to Cope with Violent and Traumatic Events

Did you notice the shift in the news over the weekend? Especially after Friday? I did.

Did you notice there was less about the lives lost and the lives permanently changed? Why are they not in the focus anymore?

What about people who have witnessed things that no one, no one, should ever have to witness?

Why are we not talking about depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other mental health issues? Because let's face it. There is a mental health side to violent and traumatic events. There are thousands of people, if not more, who directly or vicariously experienced trauma. Most people will be fine, but some people will not. To some extent, anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, and other emotions are normal reactions to abnormal events. There is a point, and this is a tricky point to identify, where emotions can start interfering with daily life. Let me reiterate that there is nothing wrong with needing extra help.

Why are we not talking about resilience, self-care, and coping skills?

Because we should be. Go back here for some tips on the road to resilience.

For helpers and healers, to challenge the present and embrace the future. That was from a church service several years ago. It is just as appropriate now.

Boston Marathon: How to Handle Traumatic Stress

So, yeah, about that Boston Marathon. There are many people who directly experienced the Boston Marathon bombings. There were many many more who indirectly experienced the non-stop news all week or the lockdowns in the Boston area on Friday.

What I am not seeing anywhere is information on how to cope with direct or indirect exposure to traumatic events. The good news is that most people directly or indirectly exposed to traumatic events will be perfectly fine. Resilience is common. People bounce back from traumatic events. We have already seen the city of Boston fall to its knees and stand up again.

But the bad news is that some people will need extra help coping with exposure, direct or indirect, to traumatic stress. There is a point where normal reactions stop being normal and traumatic events start interfering with your ability to function. There is nothing wrong with needing extra help.

Everyone reacts differently to events like this. It is normal to feel scared, anxious, confused, sad, dazed, shaken, or angry. Or nothing. Everyone copes differently. What works for one person may not work for someone else.

Here are some links on handling traumatic stress, courtesy of the American Psychological Association:

Tips on how much news coverage is too much for children, and also makes good points about how much is too much for adults

Managing traumatic stress

The road to resilience

I was initially worried about my own reaction to being in Boston, but so far, I have been remarkably OK. One person point blank asked me if I was traumatized, and I said no. Unequivocally no. Read below for why. These are strategies that work for me. Your mileage may vary.

Some of my stress-managing strategies

Reflected on what has worked in the past. I am unlucky or lucky, depending on how you look at it, that I've had experience with stressful and anxiety-provoking situations before, including a couple in Boston. I have a large toolbox of coping skills to draw on. Stress is stress. If you can handle it in one situation, you can transfer those skills to other situations.

Self-care. This is one of my main coping skills. Self-care can be as simple as going for a walk, having a cup of tea, doing something you enjoy, treating yourself to a little present, or anything that works for you.

Turn off the news. On Monday evening, I had zero desire to watch the news. Having a general idea of what had happened was good enough for me. I watched a little bit and checked periodically throughout the week, but I wasn't glued to the news.

Be careful with social media. Like the news, there were times when I had to step away. In particular, speculation and inaccuracies that were later corrected were too much.

Walked a labyrinth. There is a labyrinth at Boston College that I have walked on many times. There is a labyrinth in Washington, DC not too far from where I work. Labyrinths can be used as a tool for meditation. That's exactly what I used it for when I was back in DC.

Monitored myself. Although I was a few blocks away from the bombs, the facts that I didn't actually see them and didn't immediately know what was going on were very protective. That said, I knew there were certain things I had to look out for. Inability to concentrate, intrusive thoughts, lack of appetite, and trouble sleeping are classic anxiety symptoms for me. Thankfully, none of them surfaced (except for not being hungry on Monday, but that is totally understandable).

Wrote. Talked. I am blogging in part because writing is one of my ways of coping. And I gotta say, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be when I returned to work. Not all of my coworkers knew I was in Boston to run the marathon, but the ones who did came by to check on me. All day. I have been wearing my marathon jacket, and random people asked me if I was there and whether I was OK. I have never experienced the kindness and compassion of total strangers like that before.

Learn. These are things I already know that have been confirmed by recent events. Have a plan, but adapt. There is light in the darkness. And one of the most important, learn where to put my energy. Some things are worth my energy. Others aren't. I am not going to put my energy into things that take a toll on me. It's not worth it.

The Survivor Stone

A friend sent me a little Survivor stone a couple of years ago. I decided I was going to bring it along for the ride on my first marathon. I can't even remember why. It just seemed like an appropriate thing to have with me during a marathon. The stone has come along, tucked safely in a zippered pocket in my shorts, on all six of my marathons. It's gone 26.2 miles in New Orleans, Providence, Chicago, Virginia Beach, and Narragansett. And now Boston.

The stone was shiny. And then I tucked it in my pocket along with my keys on a 5K. The stone got very badly scratched. But that somehow seemed appropriate. The stone survived. It has helped me survive some difficult races. It reminds me of the journey. It changes. I change.

This scratched up stone comes along on all of my races. It took on a whole new layer of meaning after the Boston Marathon.

Boston Marathon: After the Marathon

2:50 pm. Still in the changing tent. There was a boom. It sounded like a cannon, or a very heavy truck going over a bump. At first, I thought it might be part of Patriots' Day. I couldn't tell where it came from.

Then there was another boom. Everyone started looking at each other, thinking this isn't right. This can't be good.

No. It wasn't right and it wasn't good.

Someone, I can't remember if it was a volunteer or a runner or someone else, said people were running. A volunteer told us to get out of the tent and leave. And go where? What was going on? Where was it? Were we heading towards it or away from it? What if there was another boom?

For the next 20 minutes or so, I was mostly unaware of what had happened. My #1 priority was finding my husband. I talked to him again (I had a missed call from him, so I knew he was OK) and he was on his way to meet me. It was surprisingly unchaotic, although no one really knew what was going on. I certainly didn't. Maybe that's why, so far, I feel like it hasn't been that traumatic. I never panicked. I hadn't seen anything. So thankful for that.

My husband found me in the family meeting area and we tried to figure out what to do. I just wanted to get the hell out of Boston as soon as possible. He was hungry. Emergency vehicles started heading toward the finish area. Ambulances. Police. We started walking in the opposite direction. At some point, I posted to Facebook that we were OK and called my parents. I already had tons of messages on my phone.

We popped into a crowded bar, saw the news of Explosions in Boston, and quickly left to find some other place to eat. We ended up at a Thai place that was mostly empty. I knew I needed to eat, but the last thing I wanted to do was eat. I managed to have a couple bites of vegetables and a cup of hot tea. But my stomach, which had been unsettled in the last few miles, just couldn't take more than that.

We walked a few more blocks to South Station to take the commuter train home. I have never appreciated Rhode Island as much as I did that day.

I keep wondering what if?

What if I ran slower? What if I had gotten injured?

What if my ankle decided to hurt during the marathon and I was somewhere out on the course? This was a big calculated risk, even before I stepped over the start line.

What if the bombs went off earlier? I ran within yards of both bombs. I will never know if they were already there when I ran by. I will never know if I had seen the people who dropped those bombs.

What if something had happened to my husband? Because he was out watching me run a marathon?

What if I didn't have a missed call from my husband after the bombs went off, so that I knew he was OK? What if we hadn't easily met up?

What if I didn't have my phone, or my battery wasn't fully charged when I left in the morning?

What if there were more bombs?

What if I didn't know my way around Boston and knew exactly where I was? What if I didn't know that I could walk to South Station to catch the commuter train home, instead of Back Bay closer to the finishing area?

What if. Those questions don't have answers.

The "what if" questions almost don't matter. People often talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was in the right places at the right times. For all the things that could have gone wrong, not one of them did. I am so grateful and thankful for that.